As a therapist with over 30 years experience, I have learned that sometimes the important question is not how to solve a problem, but what is preventing someone from figuring things out. What are the internal obstacles that cause people to get in their own way?
Many of these begin with words like “should” or “supposed to”. Another variation is “what normal people do”, or other types of external (others) expectation as opposed to your own.
How does that affect your life? Certain “external expectations” are important to keep society running smoothly. For example, expectations like being dressed or clothed when you leave the house or driving on the right side of the road, help keep everyone comfortable and safe. Others may be truly more optional. Not everyone needs to be gainfully employed at 40 or more hours per week, and the amount of tasks you accomplish in a day is not an indication of your worth and value as an individual.
I believe the opinion that matters most is the one from the person who looks back at you in the mirror (hint: YOURSELF). As a competent adult, you have the right and responsibility to make good decisions and choices for yourself. That is the secret to happiness and wellbeing. Figure out a life that works for you.
Think about this for a moment. If you could have any life you want, in 5 or 10 years, what does that look like? What are the steps in that pathway, and what prevents you from taking the first or next one? What really prevents you? For many people, the answer deep down inside has some element of fear.
There are two strong operating principles in many of our physical and mental activities. One is desire (love or wanting something) and the other is fear (or avoidance of something). If you make a decision, or do something because you really want to, you may not get the results you seek, but you will not regret your time and effort. (You might even find something good out of it, even if it’s not what you planned or hoped). If you make a decision based on fear or avoidance, that is one you would typically regret.
Are you making life choices and decisions based on fear and avoidance? Or are you doing what you love? Are you living a life that works for you as opposed to one that is based on other people’s expectations? If you are having difficulty overcoming these and other personal obstacles in your life, call the professionals at Ketamine Wellness Centers. We can help eliminate obstacles, including chronic pain and imbalances such as depression, bipolar disorder, etc, and help you find a life that works and is truly your own. Call us now!
Dr. Ellen Diamond is the Clinical Psychologist for Ketamine Wellness Centers.